Here I am again, with a new blog. I seem to keep one for a few months, then forget about it, dither about posting on it again and decide to start all over.
So this would be what... my sixth blog I've started. Man, that sucks. People have had their blogs for years and I can't even write once or twice a week.
I'd love to be able to keep one up, but it seems to be too much hard work. All I really have to do is sit down, think of a subject to write about and bam, an hour or so later I'd have a blog post. Following through on projects is a major flaw of mine and why exactly I'm writing this post now.
I desperately want to finish a longterm project, the payoff would be amazing knowing I've worked so hard and so long on something that's finished. I've not completed anything now since I completed the first draft of an awful vampire hunter novel ten years ago. I've been floating in between it and several other ideas since and frankly I'm fed up bouncing around and not ever finding the shore.
So it's time to decide on what I really want to write, my vampire/werewolf/mortal romance, my incubus romance or a completely new idea.
Tethered, the paranormal romance I won Camp NaNoWriMo with has been sitting unfinished in cyberspace since last August. I love the idea, I love the characters. Hell, I even love the plot. But I just can't sit down and write it. Maybe it all comes from the fear of failure. But what kind of failure is finishing a first draft? Surely it's a success, right? I know they say the first draft is always shit, but at least it would be completed, to be rewritten and polished, and maybe even published in some form one day.
I've been dreaming of being a published writer for what is it? Thirteen years now, since I was seventeen. I'm thirty now and while I know that's still young I can't help but feel I wasted my twenties just sitting and dreaming instead of putting the work into the dream and actually getting any payoff.
So, my fine possibly-imaginary-reader, this is it. No more procrastinating, no more wishing and wanting, this time I'm just going to do the tried and tested method on BICFOK, (Bum in chair, fingers on keys) I'm never going to write anything if I spend all the time looking at rage comics on Reddit, am I?
Nice as it is, ultimately I've other stuff to be doing, I've a goal to head towards. I promised myself I wouldn't let another year go by without striving to complete a first draft of a novel. It doesn't have to be good, hell, it doesn't even have to be coherent. Just finished. Right? That's the most important thing.
Plot holes and badly written dialogue can always be edited, but only if it's actually on the page in front of you. And that's where I fall down. It's not written... yet.
